WHAT A RIGHTEOUS DAD DOES - VOL III ISSUE 1

"Praise the LORD! How blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who greatly delights in His commandments. His descendants will be mighty on the earth; the generation of the upright will be blessed. Wealth and riches are in his house, and his righteousness endures forever. Light arises in the darkness for the upright; he is gracious and compassionate and righteous. It is well with the man who is gracious and lends; he will maintain his cause in judgment. For he will never be shaken; the righteous will be remembered forever. He will not fear evil tidings; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD. His heart is upheld, he will not fear, until he looks with satisfaction on his adversaries. He has given freely to the poor, his righteousness endures forever; his horn will be exalted in honor. The wicked will see it and be vexed, he will gnash his teeth and melt away; the desire of the wicked will perish." Psalm 112 NASB

This chapter is famous for outlining the characteristics of a godly man. However, please take notice of the second line: “his descendants will be mighty on the earth.” Obviously to have descendants you have to be a father. Therefore, I believe that this passage is not just describing a believer but more specifically explaining the characteristics of a godly dad.

The description of a godly dad begins with the fear the Lord. Dad, do you know what the fear of the Lord is? Do you think you have it? How do you know? How about looking up Proverbs 8:13,  9:10, Matthew 10:28, Luke 18:2 and Hebrews 4:1. Many say we shouldn’t fear God because “He is love” and if we’re His sons, why should we fear Him? However, the Bible says differently. Who are you going to believe, Dad?

Dad, do you, “greatly delight in His commandments”?  What does this even mean? How much do you read your Bible, even the Old Testament? Do you resist or discount or think lightly of His commandments? In our day, many cling to the grace message but shun His commandments. We are to live by grace and not law, so why would the commandments be important to us today? Why should we delight in them? Psalm 119 probably has more to say about God’s commandments, statues and ordinances than any other part of scripture. Try reading Psalms 119 with your children and look for why and how we should delight in the Lord’s commandments.  

“Wealth and riches are in his house”. This phrase gets our attention. But it would be out of context to think He is suggesting worldly wealth. Remember Jesus saying that it would be “easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into heaven.” I’m not saying that God can’t or won’t give you worldly wealth on His terms. God does provide and often more than you need….”my cup runneth over”. However, I strongly believe that the wealth and riches the Lord is referring to in this passage is your physical and spiritual children. Do you think of them as valuable as gold and precious stones? Can you list ways they enrich your life? Do you treasure their hearts? Do you pay as much attention to them as you do getting and managing worldly wealth? Do they know how much you treasure them?

There is only one way that ”His righteousness can endure forever”. That is, he must have put faith in Christ alone. The Bible is clear that our “righteousness is as filthy rags”. You can’t do anything to save yourself. Some days when I’ve done everything as right as possible, I feel pretty smug about being righteous. But then I do something that demonstrates that I’m not. I must constantly relearn that I am righteous not because of my actions but because He has declared me righteous when I accepted His gift of righteousness by trusting in Christ. Four times in the passage the Lord describes the godly dad as righteous. Dad, are you fully depending on Christ for your righteousness? I was reading I John recently and chapter one is very clear. Take a look at it. If you have placed your faith in Christ Jesus, your righteousness will endure forever. If so, your “light will arise in the darkness.”

“He is gracious and compassionate. It is well with the man who is gracious and lends … He has given freely to the poor”. Dad, do your children see you being gracious and compassionate? In contemporary American culture we typically see these as more feminine traits but God want us to be gracious. My dad was gracious. He looked for ways to bless and encourage others. I’ve shared about his tendency to extend grace and lend previously in my August 2011 installment of WADD. He was loved and admired in our community. Dad, will others (and especially your kids) say that of you in the future?

He will never be shaken”. What shakes you? This is a pretty strong statement. This requires God’s intervention. No man on his own can say, “I will never be shaken.” When you were slandered, were you shaken? When you were demoted at work, were you shaken? When you were laid off, were you shaken? When your children said they didn’t want to be under your authority anymore, were you shaken? Here God says you will never be shaken. I don’t know about you, Dad, but I’ve got a lot of growing to do.

“He will not fear evil tidings….He will not fear, until he looks with satisfaction on his adversaries”. I believe it is summed up best in Job 2:9-10 MSG.  His wife said, “Still holding on to your precious integrity, are you? Curse God and be done with it!” But Job told her, “You’re talking like an empty-headed fool. We take the good days from God—why not also the bad days?” When someone would ask my dad how he was doing, even right up to the end, he would always say, “fantastic,” even when he was in terrible pain. We will also have days when we’re told some pretty bad news. The godly dad does not live in fear and dread of what may happen. So let’s live our lives for Christ and teach our children to do the same. Leave the potential “evil tidings” up to God. After all He is going to use them to grow us in Christ anyway (Rom 8:28-29).

His heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. His heart is upheld”. God is the one who holds our heart dad. Not your wife, not your children, not your friends, no one else. At least that’s the way it’s supposed to be. As you read through the history of the kings of Judah you’ll find that there were only three kings over a several hundred year period who had a “whole heart toward God.” Do you know who they were? Have you studied why God pronounced them “whole-hearted?” Jeremiah captures the concept in Jer. 29:13, “You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.”  

His horn will be exalted in honor”. Throughout the Bible, God explains over and over again that humility brings honor. God promises exaltation to the dad who humbly seeks God and is willing to have his will come under the authority of His Word. Dad, do you want your kids to honor you? Then listen to the admonition of Psalm 112. I know I must!

The wicked will see it and be vexed”, You WILL receive ridicule and persecution because you are going in the opposite direction of society. Don’t let that get you down or dilute your resolve! After all, Jesus promised that the world would hate you for following Him and so does the rest of the New Testament. But at the end of the day “he will gnash his teeth and melt away; the desire of the wicked will perish”. You are on the right path and great will be your reward!

THIS IS WHAT A RIGHTEOUS DAD DOES! 

WHAT A VISIONARY DAD DOES - VOL II ISSUE 10

Today is our 40^th Wedding Anniversary!

Where there is no vision [no redemptive revelation of God], the people perish; but he who keeps the law [of God, which includes that of man]—blessed (happy, fortunate, and enviable) is he. Proverbs 29:18 Amplified

Do you have a vision for your family? I remember when the Lord taught me how important the process of developing, conveying and protecting a vision really is. Here’s the story.

In February 1989, we moved to Merriam, Kansas, just southwest of Kansas City.  I had started a new job at Hallmark Cards as the corporate environmental protection administrator. While living there I had about a 15-minute commute to Crown Center, Hallmark’s headquarters, downtown.

Hallmark’s founder, Mr. J.C. Hall, had died in 1976 and the company was for the first time being operated by non-family management. It was rapidly diversifying and seemed to have lost the original vision and mission of the founder. So, a large team of long-term employees was commissioned to “find the company’s roots” and recapture the original vision. 

The team studied Hallmark’s 78-year history and many of Mr. Hall’s writings.  After a couple of years’ work they developed a six-part mission or vision statement and posted it throughout the company.  All employees were expected to “get in step” with the vision.

But because the employees were such a diverse community and Jesus wasn’t the cohesive element, the “vision-thing” didn’t work too well.

At the same time this effort was going on at Hallmark, I attended a “Dad, the Family Shepherd Conference.” The passion of speaker Dave Simmons, a former football player, was helping dads catch a vision for fatherhood.

I was impressed with the questions he asked concerning the future: “If you could listen in on your great-great-great-great grandchildren a couple of hundred years from now, would they be talking about Jesus? Would they be passionately in love with the Savior? What would/could you do to influence their lives so far into the future? Are you giving your children a sense of destiny?”

Those questions got me to thinking about our eight children (this was before Anna Grace was born). What am I doing? I was praying with their mother every day, we were home-educating[1], we tried to consistently discipline, we loved to laugh together, we curtailed the television viewing and employed other strategies. I was excited about all of the things we were doing, but surely where was the vision for future generations?  What does being a Talley mean? Is there a special mission for our family?

As I mulled over these things in the weeks following, I decided that the first thing I had to do was prayerfully develop the family vision/mission statement. I started with a blank sheet paper and began to jot down what ideals we valued. It was really just a long list of Scriptures that I had memorized and on which I had meditated. Gene Warr and Jim Kennedy are the guys who started me memorizing scripture 15 years earlier. The only problem was the list had more than 50 concepts on it. I began to group the issues/ideals under headings like prayer, witnessing, discipleship, family, etc. It seemed I was stuck. I had been working on this idea alone but decided at this point to include my brother Randy. After all, he had a degree in communications and a career in public relations. He was excited about the project. So I sent the long list to Randy and over the next couple of months we worked on several versions of the vision statement. Eventually we met with all our siblings for input and critique.

Sometimes when emphasizing meaningful scriptures it is easy to leave the impression that the rest of the Bible is not as important. But I never want to give that impression either directly or indirectly. All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for doctrine (defining the road), for reproof (warning when we get off the road), for correction (how to get back on the road), for instruction in righteousness (how to stay on the road) and that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.[2]

Ultimately we came up with the following:

We recognize

• That love is richly expressed through creativity, resourcefulness and industry [3].
• That learning is valuable, especially the pursuit of God’s will through His Word, and that developing character is the chief object of learning [4]. 
• That hospitality is the practical expression of the lordship of Christ in my life [5].
• That raising children is a privilege, not a duty, and that a heritage of Godly sons and exceeds above any occupation in benefits, character-building challenge, and rewards [6].
• That patriotism is practically expressed when the worth of the individual, friend or enemy, is regarded as paramount, and when each of us seeks to fulfill our individual responsibility [7].
• That conforming to God’s standards and not the world may bring suffering, but God is working out His will in our lives, even through tough times [8].

Now all we needed was a crest or symbol to typify the vision.  Although Tina and I had looked for Talley family crests from Wales where our family is supposed to have originated, the only thing we found was a few emblems unrelated to what we held as central family beliefs.  You know – the ubiquitous medieval shield with lions, goats, etc. on them.  None really struck us as able to relate our shared family ideals.

This brings me to the third thing that influenced the vision. It occurred while I was on a business trip. I was flipping through the airline magazine and came across an advertisement for items marked with “your company’s logo” – watches, ink pens, ball caps, etc. It was on that plane during early 1990 that the idea emerged. I don’t remember the origin or destination of that flight but I really believe the idea was from the Holy Spirit.

Could a new family crest, bearing the symbols and representing the ideals we share as a family become a rallying point? If it were emblazoned on t-shirts and coffee mugs and jackets, would it become a symbol of shared identity (which we wanted), or a point of pride (which we hope to avoid!)?

Collaborating with family and several artists, we came up with the following crest. We make a careful point to call it a “crest” (which is about vision) and not a “logo” (which is about sales). Each illustration symbolizes one of the six statements in the vision.

That Christmas we had gave out posters of the Vision. We also had sweatshirts silk-screened with the new crest for each person in the greater family, about 27 of them, at that time. Since then our crest has been brandished on diplomas, watches, rings, polo shirts, and door plaques to name a few.

So what does it mean to you?

Please notice that each of the value statements is squarely centered on Scripture and character.  Although the words ‘prayer’, ‘witnessing’, or ‘discipleship’ are never mentioned the vision is none-the-less oozing with them.  We have attempted to make these ideals the central focus of our lives and the more than 37 years of parenting and home education.  Our deepest desire is that all our children, grandchildren, indeed all future generations, would prize genuine love, learning, hospitality, children, patriotism, and suffering. 

As they grew up, we told each of our children (to tell to all of the future generations), “although we would like to make the decision for you to follow Christ, only YOU can do that. I am looking forward to being reunited with you or meeting you for the first time in heaven (for those born after we're gone). What will you do with Jesus?  For eternity’s sake, BE THERE!”

There are many other ways that you could share your vision and thereby encourage your children to follow Christ and God’s plan for their lives. Dad, are you up to the challenge? 

I'd like to hear about how you are passing along Christ's vision for your family...please send me your ideas.. 

THIS IS WHAT A VISIONARY DAD DOES!

Footnotes:

[1] Advanced Training Institute

[2] I Timothy 3:16-17

[3] I Corinthians 13, Ephesians 5:15-17,  II Thessalonians 3:10, 

[4] Joshua 1:8, I Timothy 3:16-17, Psalms 119:9-11, Jeremiah 9:23-24

[5] Matthew 28:18-20, James 2:1-4 LB, I Peter 4:9 LB, My Heart Christ’s Home – NavPress

[6] Psalms 127:3-5, Deuteronomy 6:6-9, Ephesians 6:4

[7] Romans 12:9-21, Colossians 3:23-24, Colossians 1:28-29 JB Phillips Version

WHAT A NOBLE DAD DOES - - VOL II ISSUE 9

November 18, 2012                                                                             Volume II Issue 9

Do not move the ancient boundary which your fathers have set. Proverbs 22:28

I’m sure that this passage has the connotation of physical geographical boundaries but I strongly believe that God is referring to much more in the text.

In our day the boundaries and foundations of society are eroding rapidly. Here are a few examples with links to startling articles and information. (I’m not necessarily endorsing everything on these websites – they are meant for illustrative purposes only).

·         Banning of Judeo-Christian standards and speech – rejection of the 1^st Amendment to the US Constitution

·         Redefining marriage – rejection of the basic foundation of society

·         Out of control spending (we hear so much about Greece but it’s #15 on list of debt to GDP) – this is just temporal values

·         Abortion – government sanctioned murder

·         Out of wedlock births – immorality

·         Crime rate on the rise – rejecting the two greatest commands

·         Legalization of drug use – trying to achieve “freedom” without God

·         Church attendance declining – forsaking the assembling of ourselves together

·         Christian persecution – society sanctioned murder

·         Abandonment of the true Gospel – rejecting God’s provision and His fellowship

Scripture describes the erosion of the boundaries in Psalms 10

¹ Why do You stand afar off, O Lord?
Why do You hide Yourself in times of trouble?
² In pride the wicked hotly pursue the afflicted;
Let them be caught in the plots which they have devised.

³ For the wicked boasts of his heart’s desire,
And the greedy man curses and spurns the Lord.
⁴ The wicked, in the haughtiness of his countenance, does not seek Him.
All his thoughts are, “There is no God.”

⁵ His ways prosper at all times;
Your judgments are on high, out of his sight;
As for all his adversaries, he snorts at them.
⁶ He says to himself, “I will not be moved;
Throughout all generations I will not be in adversity.”
⁷ His mouth is full of curses and deceit and oppression;
Under his tongue is mischief and wickedness.
⁸ He sits in the lurking places of the villages;
In the hiding places he kills the innocent;
His eyes stealthily watch for the unfortunate.
⁹ He lurks in a hiding place as a lion in his lair;
He lurks to catch the afflicted;
He catches the afflicted when he draws him into his net.
¹⁰ He crouches, he bows down,
And the unfortunate fall by his mighty ones.
¹¹ He says to himself, “God has forgotten;
He has hidden His face; He will never see it.”

                                                                       

Which fathers do you think our passage describing?  I believe that God is referring to more than just our immediate father….I think he is speaking of the collective of the wise “fathers” who have come before us (see the Hebrews 11 Hall of Fame to name a few). A direct Hebrew transliteration says “you must not move away from the boundary of the son which the fathers of you set”….and the NIV translates “fathers” as “ancestors”.

I also believe that it’s not just about a dad setting boundaries for his kids but more importantly for himself. Boundaries “of the son”…you might think of that as the Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus “the son” laid out the boundaries: the Beatitudes, God’s commandments, adultery, murder, honor, love, obedience and so forth. Jesus didn’t move any of the ancient boundaries.

Now I know we live under grace but the Apostle Paul who understood that he was not constrained at all by the law admonished us in several places to put boundaries around our lives. Here are a couple of examples:

I Corinthians 9 ²⁴ Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. ²⁵ Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. ²⁶ So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. ²⁷ But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.

Romans 14 ²⁰ Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. ²¹ It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble. ²² The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves. 

Yes, you can give your children many boundaries but the ones you set for yourself are the ones they will really see and follow. Dad, are there places you won’t go? Are there things you won’t do? Are there activities that you won’t engage in? Are there attitudes you refuse to allow yourself to indulge in? Even in secret?

Did your father set boundaries for himself? Are you setting boundaries? Why should we honor the boundaries set by our ancestors? Several reasons: because God says so, to keep from evil, to provide blessings and as lessons learned so successive generations won’t have to experience the judgment that the world is receiving by rejecting God’s ways.

Here is a specific example of fathers honoring the boundaries. The story is from Jeremiah 35 about 500 years after their “father” Rechab lived. That means 20 or more generations after Rechab lived we see these were still honoring the boundaries he had set.

Jeremiah 35:² “Go to the house of the Rechabites and speak to them, and bring them into the house of the Lord, into one of the chambers, and give them wine to drink.” ³ Then I took Jaazaniah the son of Jeremiah, son of Habazziniah, and his brothers and all his sons and the whole house of the Rechabites, ⁴ and I brought them into the house of the Lord, into the chamber of the sons of Hanan the son of Igdaliah, the man of God, which was near the chamber of the officials, which was above the chamber of Maaseiah the son of Shallum, the doorkeeper. ⁵ Then I set before the men of the house of the Rechabites pitchers full of wine and cups; and I said to them, “Drink wine!” ⁶ But they said, “We will not drink wine, for Jonadab the son of Rechab, our father, commanded us, saying, ‘You shall not drink wine, you or your sons, forever. ⁷ You shall not build a house, and you shall not sow seed and you shall not plant a vineyard or own one; but in tents you shall dwell all your days, that you may live many days in the land where you sojourn.’ ⁸ We have obeyed the voice of Jonadab the son of Rechab, our father, in all that he commanded us, not to drink wine all our days, we, our wives, our sons or our daughters, ⁹ nor to build ourselves houses to dwell in; and we do not have vineyard or field or seed. ¹⁰ We have only dwelt in tents, and have obeyed and have done according to all that Jonadab our father commanded us”

If the Lord hasn’t returned twenty generations from now, will your sons and daughters still be holding on to the boundaries you’ve held on to?

So what do we do? Scripture admonishes us in many places, here’s one:

Isaiah 58 ¹ “Cry loudly, do not hold back;
Raise your voice like a trumpet,
And declare to My people their transgression
And to the house of Jacob their sins.
² “Yet they seek Me day by day and delight to know My ways,
As a nation that has done righteousness
And has not forsaken the ordinance of their God.
They ask Me for just decisions,
They delight in the nearness of God.
³ ‘Why have we fasted and You do not see?
Why have we humbled ourselves and You do not notice?’
Behold, on the day of your fast you find your desire,
And drive hard all your workers.
⁴ “Behold, you fast for contention and strife and to strike with a wicked fist.
You do not fast like you do today to make your voice heard on high.
⁵ “Is it a fast like this which I choose, a day for a man to humble himself?
Is it for bowing one’s head like a reed
And for spreading out sackcloth and ashes as a bed?
Will you call this a fast, even an acceptable day to the Lord?
⁶ “Is this not the fast which I choose,
To loosen the bonds of wickedness,
To undo the bands of the yoke,
And to let the oppressed go free
And break every yoke?
⁷ “Is it not to divide your bread with the hungry
And bring the homeless poor into the house;
When you see the naked, to cover him;
And not to hide yourself from your own flesh?
⁸ “Then your light will break out like the dawn,
And your recovery will speedily spring forth;
And your righteousness will go before you;
The glory of the Lord will be your rear guard.
⁹ “Then you will call, and the Lord will answer;
You will cry, and He will say, ‘Here I am.’
If you remove the yoke from your midst,
The pointing of the finger and speaking wickedness,
¹⁰ And if you give yourself to the hungry
And satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
Then your light will rise in darkness
And your gloom will become like midday.
¹¹ “And the Lord will continually guide you,
And satisfy your desire in scorched places,
And give strength to your bones;
And you will be like a watered garden,
And like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.
¹² “Those from among you will rebuild the ancient ruins;
You will raise up the age-old foundations;
And you will be called the repairer of the breach,
The restorer of the streets in which to dwell.

¹³ “If because of the sabbath, you turn your foot
From doing your own pleasure on My holy day,
And call the sabbath a delight, the holy day of the Lord honorable,
And honor it, desisting from your own ways,
From seeking your own pleasure
And speaking your own word,
¹⁴ Then you will take delight in the Lord,
And I will make you ride on the heights of the earth;
And I will feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father,
For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”

The bottom line Dad:

As the world continues to slide toward the “great apostasy” and the rule of the anti-christ we must remember that our “fathers’ have set boundaries for themselves and us in the area of marriage, family, morals, ethics, finance and a whole host of other areas. God’s admonition to us is to not move those boundaries.  There is great consequence if we do. Every succeeding generation is depending on you dad!

THIS IS WHAT A NOBLE DAD DOES!

WHAT AN EXULTANT DAD DOES - VOL II ISSUE 8

This is the SIXTH (and last) installment of a series of What a Dad Does articles dealing with the “father who knew how to let go” taken from Luke 15:11-32. To read the first five in the series please go to What A Dad Does and read Volume II Issues 3-7 which deal with verses 11-31. Like all blogs, the articles are newest first (reverse order). We’ll finish the story with verse 32.

But we had to celebrate and rejoice, for this brother of yours was dead and has begun to live, and was lost and has been found.'" (Luke 15:32 NASB)

Finding life is the ultimate cause for celebration. The father in Jesus’ story was beside himself in festivity at his younger son’s return. Of course he wanted everyone in his household and circle of influence to make merriment with him, especially the older brother.

Why did he have to prod the older brother to rejoice? He was trying to get the older engaged in the party but he was in the “gall of bitterness” (Acts 8:23). It makes no rational sense that the son who got two thirds of the estate, the house and everything in it and had always been with his father’s fellowship: would be so upset that he couldn't celebrate his brother's homecoming.  That is unless you dig deeper, what's really happening here is that the older brother was afraid of being displaced. So fearful was he that he actually hated and despised his younger brother. This is the essence of jealousy. Without the grace of God a person can never release jealously.

But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and  so  lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. (James 3:14-16 NASB)

Dad, do you have one or more children who are jealous of one of their siblings? A father can do something about it. Pray for the first thing. God hears the “fervent prayers of a righteous man” (James 5:16). Second, make personal time with each of your children. Make sure each one knows how special they are. Never make one of them your “favorite” or tell others that you are closer to this one or that one. Make every one of them your close friend and confidant. Third, set the standard that in our family we’ll never let the son go down on our anger. The slate needs to be wiped clean before bed, every day. Dad, you set the example. Ask forgiveness of any of them you have offended every day. This means that you may have to get out of bed go wake one or more of them up to ask forgiveness.

When did the father give the older son his inheritance? An inheritance is usually secured when the testator dies. However since the father had already divided the estate when the younger asked, the older perceived he had received his at the same time. This is important and part of the reason he could not celebrate, because he felt dad was giving away his stuff.

Why did the father say, "we HAD TO celebrate"? Life celebrates life. Dad, when someone comes to Christ, does your son or daughter rejoice? Rejoicing at this point says volumes about his or her spiritual condition. But satan comes to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). Don’t let him have the victory in your family. Celebrate often!

Did the father ever say he loved either son? No, but his actions spoke volumes. However, don’t let this fact keep you from telling your daughters and sons that you love them. Tell them every day and demonstrate your love, just like our father in the story. Did the father ever say, “I forgive you” to either son?  Again, no, but his actions certainly demonstrated it!

Keep loving, keep forgiving, keep celebrating, you have a very rich treasure!

THIS IS WHAT AN EXULTANT DAD DOES!

WHAT A SECURE DAD DOES! - VOL II ISSUE 7

What a Dad Does

This is the FIFTH installment of a series of What a Dad Does articles dealing with the “father who knew how to let go” taken from Luke 15:11-32. To read the first four in the series please go to What A Dad Does and read Volume II Issue 3, 4, 5 and 6 which deal with verses 11-24. Like all blogs, the articles are newest first (reverse order). We’ll pick up the story in verse 25.

"Now his older son was in the field, and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. And he summoned one of the servants and began inquiring what these things could be. And he said to him, 'Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has received him back safe and sound. But he became angry and was not willing to go in; and his father came out and began pleading with him. But he answered and said to his father, 'Look! For so many years I have been serving you and I have never neglected a command of yours; and yet you have never given me a young goat, so that I might celebrate with my friends; but when this son of yours came, who has devoured your wealth with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him.' And he said to him, 'Son, you have always been with me, and all that is mine is yours.” Luke 11:25-31

Where was this son when his younger brother came home? Was he away on a long trip or tending the sheep on the “back forty”? We don’t know but we can ascertain from the story that when the younger brother came home he wasn’t around. After all once the younger brother came home it took a while to prepare the fattened calf and put on this magnificent party.

What was going on in the older son's mind?  Why was he so ambivalent toward his younger brother? Had there been an unforgiven offense prior to his leaving? This type of attitude doesn’t just come “out of the blue.” There must have been a history here, some unresolved conflicts. Who knows when love left the relationship between the brothers? A wise father must be constantly on the lookout for attitudes, conflicts, broken relationships. It’s part of your job, dad. Although we didn’t always do it perfectly, in our home we strove to abide by Ephesians 4: 26, to not “let the sun go down on your anger.” In other words: do everything you can, dad, to help everyone in the family resolve conflicts as soon as you hear about it. Make sure everyone actually and genuinely asks forgiveness and doesn’t just say, “I’m sorry.” This includes you! Be the first to humble yourself. If you do, God will certainly give you more grace (James 4:6); that is the desire and the power to be all that He wants you to be.

Why wasn’t he looking for the brother’s return like his father? Isn’t it obvious that he was all wrapped up in himself? He was jealous; there was a fear of being displaced by his younger rebellious brother. He was too busy thinking how he could get it all; how he could make sure his brother wouldn’t get a thing. In short, he was bitter and selfish. After all he had been “forced” to work the farm by himself. His brother had abandoned the family. Maybe he only stayed home only out of obligation. Perhaps he too had wanted to leave but felt trapped -- that he couldn’t leave or else his father would be left alone to work the farm. After all, he was the first-born son. He had to stay.

Had the father failed to teach some important lessons to this older son? I know I’m treading on thin ice here, since most Bible scholars teach that the Father is God and we are the rebellious sons. But looking at this story from the perspective of a human father, maybe there were some things he could have or should have done differently with this son. He let go of the younger son full of faith but should he have encouraged the older son to leave, to go test his wings, in faith? Surely this wasn’t the first time that the older son showed his “true colors.” Dad, do you have a fully compliant child but notice that there are underlying “attitudes” from time to time? Don’t just fawn over the obedient child. Make sure you know his/her heart. Make sure you get to know his/her attitudes and motives.

I’m not saying that we are not responsible for our own words, thoughts, actions attitudes and motives. Both sons had to take personal responsibility for themselves. Isn’t it clear that the older son was guilty of pride, self-pity, anger, jealously, selfishness and temporal values?  Were not these the same sins the younger wayward son had to face up to? The older son may have stayed home and been the model prodigy but on the inside his heart was as black as his brother’s. Dad, you have to look beyond mere actions and words.

Is there significance to music playing? Music is a sign of celebration. Music was often used to praise God and celebrate victory. Some examples in Scripture include Deborah, Merriam, David and the Psalms.

Who would have been dancing?  How do you hear dancing? This must have been a pretty raucous party. 

What was reported to the older son about the father? Dad is gushing over his returning son.

Should the father have told him why they had to celebrate, before the party began? I don’t know the answer here but my kids have often commented that they were more willing to obey when I explained why we needed to do something; when I kept them informed. I remember, years ago, when I had been “let go” from a company, I shared with the children what had happened and why, including my own failures. Conventional thinking is to keep some information like, “where are we going to get the next meal and how are we going to pay the mortgage?” from the kids; to not cause them undue fear. But I didn’t take that path; I shared with them the gory details. It caused us to pull together as a family. They prayed like warriors and their faith grew right along with their parents.  Dad, don’t be afraid the share your struggles, difficulties or plans with your kids. It will help them grow in faith. Someday in the not too distant future you will want them to be able to stand in the face of trials. And it could help them to overcome their own demons.

Were there different attitudes or generosities toward this son? Yes, the law was that he was to get twice as much as his brother. 

Was the father consistent with both boys? Is it right to treat all your children the “same”?  This is a dangerous credo.  We should have consistency in attitude, motive, and grace but not actions or words.  God doesn’t treat all of His children the same or even treat me the same all the time.  Hebrews 12 explains how God disciplines like a parent; which must be customized by the need of the moment. Romans 9 explains how God has created some vessels (people) for honor and some for dishonor. And I Cor 12 elaborates how God gives various gifts to each of us. Not all are treated the same. If treating all your children the same is your philosophy, maybe you ought to rethink it.

Dad, don’t be fooled by the son or daughter who “stays at home” and appears to do everything you ask and everything right. (It doesn’t necessarily have to be the first born, either). He or she probably has the same stinking rotten values and attitudes under the surface as your more rebellious kid(s). After all we are all ‘sons’ of Adam. You must be on the alert and gently encourage that one to leave at the proper time. I’m not saying kick them out, but isn’t it God’s plan for our kids to eventually leave and be their own persons? We hear all the time about how more adult children are living at home and failing to start their own families. We must do all we can with grace to prepare them to go out into the world to accomplish His purposes; to stand on their own two feet; to be independent (of us) without an independent spirit.

THIS IS WHAT A SECURE DAD DOES!

Find previous installments go to:  http://whatadaddoes.blogspot.com   

A while back a friend's wife asked me to prepare some "daily devotional" cards for his Christmas present.  She combined my ramblings with cards from other folks and herself regarding fatherhood & manhood for him to read at work each day.  It was a great way to communicate a special encouragement from the Lord to a loved one on a daily basis.  Since I prepared those few 'thoughts' the Lord has continued to encourage me through my daily Bible reading with many other rhemas (revelations) on this subject.  As I began to prepare those cards for her, the first verse that 'jumped off the page at me" was I Thessalonians 2:10-12 (below).  In my heart I heard the words "this is what a DAD does".  I've continued to look for these nuggets for the few years. My desire is that you continue to grow in your faith and become a master disciple maker, especially of your children.  I realize that some of you aren't dads (yet) but someday you probably will be.  Get ready now; you will be a much more successful father. 

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WHAT A MERCIFUL DAD DOES! - VOL II ISSUE 6

What a Dad Does  

This month I found a marvelous dramatized version of Keith Green's "Prodigal Son Song" on YouTube.  Please take time to view it and pay particular attention to 'the father who knew how to let go'!  Click here to view The Prodigal Son (Ignore the message that says this is an older version)

This is the FOURTH installment of a series of WADD articles dealing with the “father who knew how to let go” taken from Luke 15:11-32. To read the first three in the series please go to What A Dad Does and read Volume II Issue 3, 4 & 5 which deal with verses 11-21. BTW, on the blog site the articles are newest first (reverse order). We’ll pick up the story in verse 22.

 And the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' But the father said to his slaves, 'Quickly bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet; and bring the fattened calf, kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; for this son of mine was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.' And they began to celebrate. Luke 15:22-24

What did the father say to him when he admitted that he was wrong?  He didn't say anything. No lectures, no "I told you so's" no brow beatings!  It's amazing; this wise father realized that the son had already been brow beating himself (“I am no longer worthy to be called your son”). He could 'read' his eyes; he could see his body language.  There was no need to say anything. His son was home and 'broken'. Dad, do you know how to ‘read’ your kids?  Practice now; you can't afford to wait until they get older and run from home.

What is the significance of the word "but" at the beginning of the second sentence?  That's a huge word; I believe that God it put there to demonstrate that the father had to go against his natural inclinations. My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don't you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence? Galatians 5:16-18 MSG

Dad, when you interact with your children, is your basic motivation selfishness or self-centeredness? Are you worried about what others are going to think of your parenting skills? Or are you upset that your kids are taking advantage of you or taking your 'stuff'? "…and what do you have that you didn't receive..." I Corinthians 4:7 NASB God-honoring fatherhood is about doing the right thing by your child, not about you.

For whose glory do you parent? You may have trained yourself to see Col. 3:23 (“do your work heartily as unto the Lord”) as applying to your vocation, but have you considered that your parenting must be done “as unto the Lord” as well? In other words, you don’t parent them for the honor, respect and “points” that you get, and you don’t parent them solely for their benefit, (because they can grow up, reject you and you might see no result in this life).  Instead, you must learn to parent for the glory of God. Period.

What is the significance of calling the slaves?  They were part of the family. The father was about restoring ALL relationships. It wasn't enough that the he was smugly or privately glad -- this had to be a big deal; it had to be public. He was sending a message to the son, to the family, to the neighborhood, to the world; restoration has occurred! Do you celebrate when your kids make good decisions or only when they have good performance?

Why did the father send for the best robe?  It covered up his scars and humiliation. “…Love covers a multitude of sins” I Peter 4:8 NASB. He was showing the son true grace.  Why did it have to be the "best"? The dad was demonstrating that the son wasn’t going to be a second-class citizen. He was to be genuinely loved, fully pleasing, totally accepted and absolutely perfect in the father's sight (just like God treats everyone who trusts in Jesus).  For everyone in Christ, the robe signifies the righteousness of God we take on as Christians.

The robe, ring and sandals all demonstrate COVENANT:

“The concept of a covenant is almost unknown to the Western world. But this concept is known in ancient societies and the third world even today. Remember how we used to hear in westerns the term “blood brothers” used by the American Indians?  Well this had to do with swearing loyalty to one another and that is exactly what a blood covenant is, but there is so much more to it. The people in the pages of the Bible knew all about covenants. The Bible is divided into two main parts we call “Testaments”, but the correct term is Old Covenant and New Covenant.

The Old Covenant was a covenant made with Abraham and his descendants. The New Covenant is a covenant made through Jesus which does away with the provisions of the old one and starts something “new”.  A covenant is literally a binding obligation. It is the ultimate expression of committed love and trust and was usually made to define and make binding a relationship that had been in the making for some time.

A definition: “a covenant is a binding unbreakable obligation between two parties, based on unconditional love sealed by blood and sacred oath that creates a relationship in which each party is bound by specific undertakings on each other’s behalf. The parties place themselves under divine retribution should they later attempt to avoid these undertakings. It is a relationship that can only be broken by death.”

A covenant is not a contract. A covenant is the giving of one’s whole person and life to another and the wholehearted receiving of the other person and his or her life.   So when one people group made a covenant with another people group, they both picked someone to represent them. This person could speak and act with authority on behalf of group. For all effective purposes, they were the group. Promises, terms and responsibilities were often written down and read at specified times in remembrance of the covenant being made. See I Samuel 20:14-15 and II Samuel 9:7.” – The Covenant Sacrifice (“The Power of the Blood Covenant” by Malcolm Smith)

Dad have you ever noticed that in the Middle East dining together is a very big deal. You eat only with your friends. The meal often lasts for hours. It is more than just the necessary biology; it is a part of this covenant relationship. And so was the fatted calf. To a Jew the “fatted calf” was another way of describing the sacrifice that was made to God.  The father was demonstrating gratefulness to God first and then sharing his best with the son. Can you do that now, dad? You are in covenant with your wife and children. You don’t have to wait until they rebel and return. 

Have you ever wondered what kind of celebration they had? Who all was invited? Who actually came? What was said? How long did it last? The Bible isn’t clear on these topics; the answer is limited only by our imagination. But know this: IT WAS A HUGE, FANTASTIC, and AWESOME HOMECOMING!

Dad, are you going to let the fact that you were right, or pride, self-interest, anger, unforgiveness, bitterness or revenge destroy what God has given you? Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you: I Peter 5:6-7 ESV

THIS IS WHAT A MERCIFUL DAD DOES!