WHAT A WHOLEHEARTED DAD DOES! – VOLUME IV ISSUE 2

“Oh that they had such a heart in them, that they would fear Me and keep all My commandments always, that it may be well with them and with their sons forever!” Deuteronomy 5:29 NASB

You want the well being of your children, right? I know you do.

This promise from the Lord is one of my favorites. But what kind of heart is He talking about? And what does it really mean to fear God? I already know there is no way to keep all His commandments because I’ve broken most of them. Initially these thoughts leave me in a hopeless state.

As I have studied the ancient kings of Israel and Judah over the years I have discovered that none of the kings of Israel and most of the kings of Judah did not have a “whole heart” towards God. Only three did: David, Hezekiah and Josiah. There was something in common about these three men that stands above the rest. They obviously weren’t perfect, so what was it? Tracking their paths from I Samuel through II Chronicles, we see this common conviction: they tore down all the idols. Are you willing to tear down all your idols? Do you even know if there are some?

Beyond that, what does it mean to fear God? We know that “the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom…” (Proverbs 9:10) Some say that it means to reverence God. But is that it? I think it’s much more than that because Jesus states it very strongly when he says, "Don't be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell." (Matthew 10:28) And Paul says to work toward complete holiness because we fear God. (2 Corinthians 7:1)

William D. Eisenhower puts it this way in his article 'Fearing God" in Christianity Today:

Unfortunately, many of us presume that the world is the ultimate threat and that God's function is to offset it. How different this is from the biblical position that God is far scarier than the world. When we assume that the world is the ultimate threat, we give it unwarranted power, for in truth, the world's threats are temporary. When we expect God to balance the stress of the world, we reduce him to the world's equal. As I walk with the Lord, I discover that God poses an ominous threat to my ego, but not to me. He rescues me from my delusions, so he may reveal the truth that sets me free. He casts me down, only to lift me up again. He sits in judgment of my sin, but forgives me nevertheless. Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, but love from the Lord is its completion.

Beyond the mystery of fearing God, if God knew we weren’t going to be able to keep “all His commandments” how could this promise mean anything to me? Obviously this can only be true of me if I am in Christ – because He kept all the commandments perfectly. (Romans 5:19)

So what if I reside in Christ, tear down the idols and fear God (to the best of my understanding) and it is not well with one or more of my children? Am I going to believe what I see or what God says is true? This is where faith comes in: “Now faith means putting our full confidence in the things we hope for, it means being certain of things we cannot see. It was this kind of faith that won their reputation for the saints of old. And it is after all only by faith that our minds accept as fact that the whole scheme of time and space was created by God’s command—that the world which we can see has come into being through principles which are invisible.” Hebrews 11:1-3 JBP

Let’s believe God when He says, “Oh that they had such a heart as this always, to fear me and to keep all my commandments, that it might go well with them and with their descendants forever!” ESV

I really like that “forever” part, don’t you? And not just my children but also my descendants forever!

THIS IS WHAT A WHOLEHEARTED DAD DOES!

WHAT A VISIONARY DAD DOES! – VOLUME IV ISSUE 1

Where there is no vision [revelation], the people are unrestrained,
But happy is he who keeps the law. Proverbs 29:18 NASB

I know you are crazy busy but do you have a clear plan for yourself and each of your children? Here are a few of the questions come to mind as I meditate on this passage.

Have you asked God for a word [rhema] about what he wants of you as a father or what he wants of your children? (Revelation)

Has God given you and have you shared a vision of what He may want of your child(ren)? (Vision)

Are you clear on what your purpose in this life or this season of life is? (Mission)

Do you have a blueprint or plan on how to get there? (Plan) As a dad and for each of your children?

Have you set specific objectives for how to accomplish your mission or fulfill you plan? (Goals)

Shana Schutte of Focus on the Family discusses goal setting in a FOTF website article:

“Many people wrongly think, ‘Goal setting is unspiritual because it shows a lack of trust. It's not right to plan. Instead, people should wait for God to lead them.’  Granted, God doesn't want us to forge ahead in pride without consulting Him for direction. But neither does He want us to sit around without acting, because He's given us gifts and talents and has also said that we are called to do good works” (Ephesians 2: 8-10, Romans 12:4-8, Matthew 25:14-30). – Read whole article here

Here are some areas you might want to consider setting goals in:

·       Family

·       Personal

·       Spiritual

·       Mental

·       Physical

·       Financial

·       Social

Many leaders use the acronym SMART in goal setting. A SMART goal is Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time based. In other words, a goal that is very clear and easily understood. Click here for SMART goals explanation and WORKSHEET.

So be careful how you act; these are difficult days. Don’t be fools; be wise: make the most of every opportunity you have for doing good. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but try to find out and do whatever the Lord wants you to. Ephesians 5:15-17 (LB)

This isn’t going to happen in a few minutes. You’ve got to set aside some time to do it, especially if you have several children. Even if you don’t have children yet, you should do it for yourself. I’m not sure who he was quoting but Jim Kennedy, who discipled me, often says, “He who aims at nothing, will hit it every time”.  Make time today to work on this for you and your children. Remember, you only have them at home for a very short 18 – 20 years.

WHAT A VISIONARY DAD DOES!

Here is a link to a video I put together last weekend about our son Jonathan. I've been in Baltimore with him at Johns Hopkins Hospital since September 19th. Jonny's Journey to Health  

WHAT A JOYFUL DAD DOES! – VOL III ISSUE 3

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. III John 4 ESV

John was just restating what the writer of Proverbs penned almost a thousand years before. “The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who fathers a wise son will be glad in him.” Proverbs 23:24 ESV

Both Old and New Testaments alike challenge us about what we delight in.  So what do you delight in, dad? Is it fishing, porn, hunting, power, golf, recognition, work, sports, church or something else? According to Webster’s 1828 Dictionary joy is defined as: The passion or emotion excited by the acquisition or expectation of good; that excitement of pleasurable feelings, which is caused by success. What really gives you joy? And what does success as a father look like?

Beyond joy, what is the truth? Who is the mediator of truth? In John 14:6, Jesus says, “I am the way, the truth and the life, no one comes to the Father except through me.” Both the Old and New Testaments lay it out for us -- Psalm 119:160 “The sum of Your word is truth, and every one of Your righteous rules endures forever.” And John 17:17 “Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth.”

If you want your children to walk in truth (The Word), then someone has to teach them the truth, right?

So dad:

·       How do you prepare your children to discern the truth? Because you won’t always be there to guide them. And even if you are there, do you always walk in truth, dad?

·       Are you getting your children into His Word? Are you asking God for creative ways to do this?

·       How do you know when your children are walking in the truth? Is it their fruit? Their attitude? Something else?

·       What does “walking” imply in this verse? Is it life, lifestyle, goals, ambitions?

·       Who are your children? Paul was referring to his children in the faith. But doesn’t this concept apply to natural born children as well?

Years ago I sensed the Lord saying to me, “if you win thousands and disciple hundreds but lose your children I will consider you a failure.” Those were strong words, words that made me tremble. Because the prevailing thought among believers today is that even if you do all you can do, your children have a will of their own, which you can’t control. I know that’s true, yet the Bible says, “Train up a child in the way he should go and even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6. I sincerely believe that I must reject any thoughts that belie the truth of scripture. I believe that to reach our goal we must cry out to God consistently and continually. It is He who will turn our children’s hearts to Himself.

So dad, if we want the ultimate, supreme, amazing, terrific joy that John is talking about in this passage it is incumbent that we must DO something besides just hope they follow the Lord and walk in truth.

As I’ve been meditating on the passage it seems to me that the joy or exuberance the Bible is talking about here:

·       Is not measured in days or months. It is the law of sowing and reaping.

o   You reap WHAT you so

o   You reap MORE and you sow

o   You reap LATER than you sow (often much later)

·       Is a reflection of your disciple-making skills

·       Is not dependent on me doing everything perfectly

·       Is a gift from God  

Could it be that this is the greatest joy because a dad realizes how fallen and faulty he is? He realizes that if his children are walking in the truth (The living active Word of God), it is in spite of all his failures. It is where the grace of God becomes intensely practical and personal. We just learned the following song in the church we’re visiting while in Baltimore over these past 10 weeks. Although the song doesn’t specifically mention the “list of What a Dad Does or should do” I heard it in these words. It by His grace! And it His work!

NOT IN ME

Verse 1

No list of sins I have not done, no list of virtues I pursue,

No list of those I am not like can earn myself a place with you.

O God! Be merciful to me. I am a sinner through and through.

My only hope of righteousness is not in me, but only you

Verse 2

No humble dress, no fervent prayer, no lifted hands no tearful song,

No recitation of the truth can justify a single wrong.

My righteousness is Jesus’ life. My debt was paid by Jesus death.

My weary load was borne by Him And He alone can give me rest.

Instrumental interlude

Verse 3

No separation from the world, no work I do, no gift I give

Can cleanse my conscience, cleanse my hands,

I cannot cause my soul to live.

But Jesus died and rose again. The pow’r of death is overthrown!

My God is merciful to me and merciful in Christ alone.

Tag

My righteousness is Jesus’ life. My debt was paid by Jesus death.

My weary load was borne by him, and He alone can give me rest,

And He alone can give me rest.

Not In Me [Lyrics, 3/4]

Words and Music by Eric Schumacher and David L. Ward

You can listen to it here: http://thegospelcoalition.org/lukealbum/  It is selection # 7

“Nothing gives me greater joy than hearing that my children are living in the truth.” 3 John 4 CJB

As you know God gives us explicit instructions about what a dad is supposed to do AND yet He says that it’s all His grace. I can’t figure out how both are true but nonetheless, they are both in the Word of God. So what does a joyful dad do? He does everything in his power to teach his children the Word of God, walk in the Word himself (model) and cry out to God for His mercy and grace!

You now don’t have to wait until all your children are grown to start laughing or expressing your joy. We laughed a lot as our children were growing up. This passage isn’t just talking about when they are grown. In each and every stage of their lives you can have the joy that our passage is talking about. Rejoice today, dad, when even one of your little ones “walks in the truth.”

WHAT A JOYFUL DAD DOES!

WHAT A LOVING DAD DOES! – VOL III ISSUE 2

Psalm 103:13

As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him. ESV

An earthly father expresses love for his children; it is no different with our heavenly Father. The Voice

Here God is using a father’s love and compassion as a metaphor for showing us how he loves us.  That’s called anthropomorphism. It comes from two Greek words:  anthropos (man) and morphe (shape).  Therefore, an anthropomorphism concerning God is when He appears to us or manifests Himself to us in human form or even attributes to Himself human characteristics.  We see this all over the Bible -- and rightly so.  After all, we cannot ascend to where God is, but He can descend to where we are.

So, how do you love your children? Although God uses the way we love our children as a metaphor for His love, our love is very imperfect as compared to the way He loves. So although God says he shows compassion to us like a father shows compassion to his children, He turns right around and tells us to love our children like He loves us. I  Corinthians 13:3-8 gives a very detailed description of His type of love.

“If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love (agapè). Love:

·       Never gives up.

·       Cares more for others than for self.

·       Doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.

·       Doesn’t strut,

·       Doesn’t have a swelled head,

·       Doesn’t force itself on others,

·       Doesn’t always “me first,”

·       Doesn’t fly off the handle,

·       Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,

·       Doesn’t revel when others grovel,

·       Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

·       Puts up with anything,

·       Trusts God always,

·       Always looks for the best,

·       Never looks back,

·       But keeps going to the end.

·       Never dies.”                  The Message

Carefully look over this list. Is this the way you love your kids? As for me, I know I fall far short of His standard. There were countless times while my children were growing up that I missed the mark. But that’s where asking forgiveness comes in. Dad, can you humble yourself and ask your children’s forgiveness when you’ve not loved according to His standard? This is a tall order and crucial if you want to keep an open door to their heart.

Is your love expressed at different times in different ways? All your children are different and they obviously need different things at different times. And boys and girls need love expressed differently. Whatever you do, dad, avoid the pitfall of choosing a favorite, it will NEVER end well.

Do you show them love the same way at every age? No, they have very different needs at every age and stage of life. Apply I Corinthians’ concepts appropriate to each age.

Sometimes love gives what a person needs and not just what they want. Check out a previous installment of What a Dad Does on loving through discipline.

Unfortunately, dad, as our verse indicates our children form an image of God based on the way we love. Let’s humbly ask the Father to love our children through us.

This is what a loving dad does!